i love being with you

but its starting to get

painful.

god bless us everyone

we're a broken people living under

loaded gun

and it

can't be outfought

it can't be outdone

can't be outmatched

it can't be outrun

no!

and when i close my eyes tonight

to symphonies of blinding light

god bless us everyone

we're a broken people living under

loaded gun

like memories in cold decay

transmissions echoing away

far from the world of you and i

where oceans bleed

into the sky

water grey
through the windows

up the stairs
chilling rain
like an ocean

everywhere

don't want to reach for me do you
i mean nothing to you
the little things give you away
and now there will be no mistaking
the levees are breaking

all you've ever wanted
was someone to truly look up to you
and six feet / underwater
i do

hope decays
generations disappear
washed away
as a nation simply stares

don't want to reach for me do you
i mean nothing to you
the little things give you away
but there will be no mistaking
the levees are breaking

all you've ever wanted
was someone to truly look up to you
and six feet / underwater

i do

all you've ever wanted
was someone to truly look up to you
and six feet / underground now
i do

i feel
like somehow
i have
let everyone
down

we have all
gone off in different directions

i miss all of my friends so much

i would give anything to be with them
every single day
just like school

going through photos of us all
make me smile

but they soon remind me
how much we loved eachother
and how we all no longer
have those connections

i love you nvrland

to whom this may concern;

i've been thinking about you quite a bit today
because i realised
i've not wrote anything on here in a while

this experience over here is mind boggeling
for the last few days i've been completly
lost in translation

i have finally reaslised
that nobody here speaks english

i think i'll cry when i'm back home
and people speak a language
i understand

visiting malls over here is
different

its not stores
they're more like stalls
like the type you get
at music festavils

but seriously
this is an experience i won't forget
..hopefully

cause i have been drinking whilst i've been here
and i've already forgotten what happened that night
(thanks to my new american friends haha)

and clubbing in china kicks ass
one of my american mates is only 15
and we did not get asked for id at all

but the people are really friendly in clubs
they give you drinks, dance with you
and you have no idea who they are
its great

but we think they only did that cause we're white

but it happened in every club

was pretty fun

yeah

panda

?

sorry

but i miss you

quite a lot actually

and i can't wait to see you when i get back

as long as you are not overseas

in wellington!

ok i'm going to go now

be good and stay classy

:)

yours sincerely,
james.

dynamite!

to whom this may concern;

nihao!

that is about the extent of my chinese.
so as you proberbly can tell,
its been rather difficult to converse with people.

so i've said it before
and i'll say it again
i rather miss you

in a way, this holiday kinda sucks
because i don't get to see you
and my dad constantly goes on about
how amazing asian girls are
how their bodies are amazing
there are some great asses here
etc etc etc

it is a tad annoying
but he does not really understand everything
that i have been through over the last few years

hence why i don't see people like
sex objects on a stick

i see real people

but oh well.

i hope you're all good in the hood

say hi to chaz & geoff for me if you go into jb
which i'm sure you will :)

be good!

sincerely,
james.

to whom this may concern;

helllllo
i have arrived safe & sound
and all in one piece.

i still feel a little jet laggd
and my head feels weird
but other than that i'm fine :)

my dads computer is weird
and the keyboard is hard to write on

it is rather annoying

i was thinking about you quite a lot on my flight
from sydney to shanghai

i wanted to rest on your shoulder
and hold your hand :)

i hope you are all good in the hood

i miss you.


less than three.

sincerely,
james.

to whom this may concern;

it has only been a few hours

and i'm already missing you like crazy!

i hope you can survive without me for 3 weeks xD

i know it will be rather hard for you

but hey, you can always go into jb and talk to chaz :)

i'm going to write to you every day.. hopefully

and constantly remind you that

even thou i'm miles away, you're still on my mind

you'll always be on my mind wherever i may be;

right next to you, up in the clouds, in an airport..

i less than 3 you quite a lot

and i think you're special

(not morgan special)

(:

sincerely,

james.

your breathe

your taste

your smell

your touch

< 3

after tonight,

who knows where we'll be tomorrow
what if we're never here again?

after tonight,
this will be a lifetime ago
so let's stay up until the sky bleeds red.

and we'll stop stop stop the world from moving
stop stop stop the grass from turning
stop this night from fading away

this time is ours
if i could hold this moment in my hands
i'd stop the world from moving
i'd stop the grass from turning

this time is ours
inside a frozen memory of us
and we are motionless, motionless

gone like a dream that i have just awoken from
fading away, just out of reach
and we are here, but i already miss you
even as you're lying next to me

and we'll stop stop stop the world from moving
stop stop stop the grass from turning
stop this night from fading away

this time is ours
If I could hold this moment in my hands
I'd stop the world from moving
I'd stop the grass from turning

this time is ours
inside a frozen memory of us
And we are motionless, motionless

and we'll stop stop stop the world from moving
stop stop stop the grass from turning
stop this night from fading away, fading away

this time is ours
if i could hold this moment in my hands
i'd stop the world from moving
i'd stop the grass from turning

this time is ours
inside a frozen memory of us
and we are motionless, motionless

this time is ours

you give me a reason to smile every morning.

you brighten my day whenever i see you.

you have the most amazing smile in the world.

you make me laugh.

you make my tummy go funny.

you have hands that fit perfectly into mine.

you have no idea how happy i am to have you in my life.

thank you for being you.

:)

mike shinoda is the shit.

i was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
my arms around his neck
my fingers laced to crown.

i was a heavy heart to carry
my feet dragged across ground
and he took me to the river
where he slowly let me drown

my love has concrete feet
my love's an iron ball
wrapped around your ankles
over the waterfall

i'm so heavy, heavy
heavy in your arms
i'm so heavy, heavy
heavy in your arms

and is it worth the wait
all this killing time?
are you strong enough to stand
protecting both your heart and mine?

who is the betrayer?
who's the killer in the crowd?
the one who creeps in corridors
and doesn't make a sound

my love has concrete feet
my love's an iron ball
wrapped around your ankles
over the waterfall

i'm so heavy, heavy
heavy in your arms
i'm so heavy, heavy
heavy in your arms

this will be my last confession
i love you never felt like any blessing

whispering like it's a secret
only to condemn the one who hears it
with a heavy heart

heavy, heavy i'm so heavy in your arms

i was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
my arms around his neck
my fingers laced to crown

i was a heavy heart to carry
but he never let me down
when he had me in his arms
my feet never touched the ground

i'm so heavy, heavy in your arms.

chinnnaaaa

here i come :)

under your spell again.
i can't say no to you.
crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
i can't say no to you.

shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
now i can't let go of this dream.
i can't breathe but i feel..

Good Enough
i feel good enough for you.

drink up sweet decadence.
i can't say no to you,
and i've completely lost myself, and i don't mind.
i can't say no to you.

shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
now i can't let go of this dream.
can't believe that i feel..

Good Enough
i feel good enough.
it's been such a long time coming, but i feel good.

and i'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
pour real life down on me.
'cause i can't hold on to anything this good enough.
am i good enough for you to love me too?

so take care what you ask of me,
'cause i can't say no.

i'm sick

of being

sick.

gahh!

tbh; i miss my friends more than they know.

the following takes place between

two thousand and one & two thousand and ten.

farewell 24.

can we pretend that

airplanes in the night sky

are like shooting stars?

i could really use a wish right now..